Date: 9/5/08
From: Violet Blue TM
To: [redacted]
Subject: I AM ONE AND ONLY VIOLET BLUE TM!!!
Dear [redacted],
HOLY FUCKING CRAP!!! I just found out there is ANOTHER Violet Blue out there trying to steal my name and fame!! Check it out: THERE IS TOTALLY A FLOWER NAMED "VIOLET BLUE!!!" What. The. Fuck?! I mean, it just sits there in a field in the sun which I would NEVER do! I sit inside in front of my computer blogging and vlogging and writing eBooks and iBooks and trying to obtain restraining orders and suing people who TRY TO USE MY FUCKING NAME!!! Which has a TM after it, hello?!? That means I AM THE ONLY ONE!!! Needless to say I am totally suing the fuck out of this flower. OUT OF ALL OF THEM!!! My lawyer is running from field to field serving the hell out of those lazy-ass flowers trying to get rich and famous off of my massive celebrity status. God. It's like, rilly hard to be me sometimes.
Anyways, I've attached some photos that you should post in your blog and get all your friends to post so people get it through their thick skulls that I AM THE ONE AND ONLY VIOLET BLUE TM!!!! God, I bet my dearest darling famous friend Margaret Cho never has to deal with this. She just has to deal with racism and stuff. This is way harder.
eKisses,
Violet Blue TM
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